Performative

     Gender is inherently performative. Be it through behavior, fashion, or even our choice of vocabulary, gender is performative. By this, I mean that our attempts to affirm gender identity are to show and perform for others, so that they perceive us how we may want to be perceived. Gender is not always something concrete, and its representations are not constant either. What may be considered feminine in one culture could be masculine in another. Consider for example Kilts, commonly worn by men, which are similar to skirts, which are mainly worn by women in other cultures. These performative ideas and representations are entirely based on society, nothing actually concrete. Such is the claim of Judith Butler, and I agree. We focus on appearance and our perception to others quite a lot. Following societal standards to try and fit in and make sure we don't give people the wrong idea. The problem is that we're people, humans are innately imperfect, as such we can't just fit into these cookie cutter molds. We deviate from standards, it's only normal. However, when we deviate from standards, we may be labeled as something that we aren't or may have not wanted to be seen. For example, most men don't take fashion or clothing choices as seriously as women, and man wearing a turtleneck sweater for example may be labeled as or considered gay. This specific example maybe a stretch, but it's true in many cases. You talk different, you talk gay, this doesn't fit within our standard, it's gay. 

    "About Men" by Gretel Ehlrich explores a similar idea, discussing the idea of a cowboy. However, her piece looks at it through the lens of media representation. In media cowboys are presented as these rough, strong, and "manly" people. The media fails to recognize the reality of cowboys and their "feminine" side, used to nurturing and taking care of cattle. It's an idea pushed by the media, of the lonesome cowboy. This view fails to recognize reality and affirms gender stereotypes through its false image, failing to acknowledge that in reality, cowboys are caring, emotional, and nurturing. The truth is that nobody perfectly falls into these gender stereotypes, and they're really just made up. Most of it is just based off of society and oppression. Pushing people to be things that they aren't for no good reason. What truly matters is to understand and accept yourself. To be willing to go against stereotypes and society for your own sake. Some men are lonely like cowboys, some might talk different, and some like playing with wires.